Down

I hate being depressed. My house is a mess and I don't care. I am a mess and I don't care. I long for the days when I did care, but thinking about those days only makes me tired. It was so much work keeping up with myself. I want my house clean and pretty again. I don't want anyone to see it this way. I hate the thought of being judged poorly. I want to lose weight. I want to feel happy. I think I understand my mom now. The older I get, the more I understand her. It is hard to want everything to be one way and then only to sit back and see that it isn't. I must find a way to turn this around.